YO MAMA!
I know that you are really busy having your way with us. You know...messin' with the thermostat. I mean come ON Mama, 118 degrees!!! And then going from record breaking highs one week to dumping rain on us the next?! Are you trying to get us all sick? Did the Tooth Fairy tick you off again? The Easter Bunny steal all of your eggs and hard boil the bejeezus out of 'em? Take is easy, Sweetie. Have a massage. Drink a martini. All will be fine.
So there are only 2 more weeks until the marathon and I have a few requests. I know that Pops (Santa) usually takes care of these things but I don't think he reads his letters until December and that you know, would be too late.
So, if you could please get all of your weather shenanigans out of your system BEFORE race day that would be swell. I request a nice 70 degree, clear beautiful day for the 17th.
I don't know how tight you are with the traffic gods but if you could ask them to make it easy for anyone coming to Long Beach as part of the most bestest Golden Retriever Rescue EVER, that would be really nice. Tell them we'll bake them cookies or at least bestow numerous wet golden kisses on them if they do!
Is there some way you could attach, like, invisible turbo chargers to me heels? I mean nothing that requires rocket fuel. I don't think anyone would believe it if I finished in 5 minutes. I'm talking under 5 hours...even if only by a minute. That would be great.
So I know that this is asking a lot. But if you could grant these requests I promise to eat my vegetables...I'll even clean my room!
PPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSE MAMA?
Thanks MAMA NATURE!! You're the BEST!
Be well!
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Hope our dear Mother smiles on you. You could have asked for 65 degrees just to give yourself a margin. I mean suppose you've inadvertently swatted a fly or pulled a weed. Wouldn't you want to be safe? Belle and Mufassa and Iridessa are putting in a good word for you, and they won't say anything about today's flea treatment. Kinda hard to protect all her creatures at once.
ReplyDeleteOoohh! You're right! I have a terrible brown thumb...meaning I can kill plants by just looking at them!! I killed a bonsai tree once even though the the lady who sold it to me said it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to kill one! But realistically, Mama N. will probably say "Who sent this? Which daughter? Bethany? I have a daughter named Bethany? Oh I FORGET about HER!" just like my real Mom!!
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