Riddle Me This

I hate goggles. They are going to be the death of me. Ok. That might be overstating a tad but they do bother the living bejeezus out of me. Even my super supposedly anti fog goggles have to be pulled really tight to keep the air and water out, and well, they squeeze my brain.

You know what else I hate? Smelling like chlorine. My super expensive soap is not noxious enough to zap it so I'm walking around smelling like Au de Pool. Yes, that's better than Au de Poo, which is what one smells like if they don't watch where they're walking. So really, I must be super careful, cuz if I happen into a pile, I will smell like Au de Poopool, which is a very distant, black sheep cousin of Mott the Hoople, who were a one hit wonder with All the Young Dudes.

Anywho...speaking of gross things, last time there was this guy who was so hairy...

HOW HAIRY WAS HE?

He was so hairy that he had his BACK HAIR BRAIDED to match his beard. NO, I am not joking. I tried not thinking about His Hairiness...swimming....not only in the same pool but in the same lane as me. I tried not thinking about HOW someone could actually BRAID hair that short. And I mean short by braiding standards. It was lllloooonnnggg in back hairinessness!

I'm still grossed out thinking about it. I know one can't help these things but man...it was icky. Yo!!! Hairy Man! Think Miyagi...Daniel San...Wax On Wax off. Wax On Wax off.

So the swimming is going well. I have pancaked. One of the things I really like about the way Misael teaches is that he breaks everything down so that each part of the kick, stroke, breath is done right. Bad thing is that it is a whole lot to remember. And he talks to us like we're kids but not in a bad way. Moving our hips is "sway sway sway". Our heads are coconuts. If you don't extend your arms far enough on the stroke we are t-rex's. Anything out of our personal range of motion is the "no no zone". All said in sing song voices that are hilarious and more to the point, memorable.

We learned backstroke first because backstroke has the same movements, for the most part, as freestyle. So now that I have pancaked, I have a lot to think about because not only do I have to worry about sway, sway, swaying and no no's and t-rex's, I have to think about BREATHING! Yeah. Breathing is good!

Sometimes I think it might be too much for me. You know, The Marathon Guru always warned me about running and chewing gum. Throw a nose blow in the mix and there was a strong chance of chaos. Now I have to think about all this stuff AND breathe AND not sink. Phhheww.

So what's the riddle?

What runs faster than I do, even in water?

Be well everyone!

Peace out.