THE FINAL CHAPTER

It has been almost 2 weeks since the triathlon and I still kinda can't believe I did it. And to my absolute wonder, despite my doubts when told I would, I had a FUN!

I was asked to tell about the race so here goes:

If you read my last blog, you read that I was slightly...ok...SUPREMELY panicked throughout the day on Saturday.

I ended up only sleeping for about 3 hours because I was just too amped. I woke up at 3am and ate right away. I had found throughout my training that I could not eat at least 2 hours before I swam because I got really queasy and nauseous.

I ended up getting down to Long Beach at about 4:30am. A little later than I wanted but I needn't have worried. I was the 3rd person there. The transition area opened at 5:30 and I got to pick my spot.

As others started filing in, I started talking with my rack mates. They knew I was nervous and tried to ease my fears. They were all very nice.

Time seemed to go very slow. On one hand that was good. But on the other, more dominant hand, I wanted to get the show on the road...or in the water as it were. I wanted to get this thing over with!

As time drew near, they told us to start moving. We had to walk almost a half mile down the beach. As I'm walking, I'm getting more nervous and excited.

I look to the water and terror surges through me.

Now, on the website it said that the swim would be behind the breakwater. It would be "calm". If you have ever been to Marina del Rey, that was what I was thinking it would be like. Very calm. Like glass. At the seminar thing I went to on that Saturday, they reiterated that by saying it would be like swimming in a lake. That was one of the reasons why I chose this triathlon. Calm waters. I can swim in a lake!

I look to the water and there are not just waves. There is, like...SURF. Big honkin', body surfing type waves. This is not what I planned for! I wanted to know what "Lake" they were talking about! Lake Michigan?! Lake Superior?! JEEZ! Holy Crap. Holy Crap. HOLY CRAAAAP!

So I get in the water to acclimate myself, as directed by the guys giving the seminar. And I have to tell you...I fell in love with my wetsuit. People kept telling me that they were buoyant...but I did not think it would be THAT buoyant! Yes, this was the first time I had ever actually worn a wetsuit.

For safety reasons, they had Coast Guard boats, wave runners and guys on surfboards watching the action to make sure no one drowned. The wave runners were towing inflatable rafts to be able to quickly get swimmers to the beach, and to emergency care, if necessary.

We get to the starting area and I am really nervous. They sent us off in waves and the elite swimmers went first. You had to swim out about 50 meters or so, then turn right after a huge red buoy.

I'm watching that first elite wave go and not 10 meters past the first buoy and they are pulling someone out of the water. This is an ELITE triathlete! And they are pulling him out 60 meters in? I start to panic all over again. If this guy, who has done these before cant finish, how can I?

I was in the 7th wave. So I got to see 6 waves go off before me. And there was at least one person from each wave taken out very early in the swim. One of the women I was talking to in the transition area was next to me and was telling me not to worry. So easy for her to say...this was her 7th tri!

The horn goes off and we are OFF! We had to dive into the waves to get past them. I was thinking of Tom Hanks in Cast Away. You know, when he had to get his raft past that huge wave or die?

Well, I made it. And I swam. I don't know if you guys know this, but that was the FIRST time I had swam in the ocean! And did I mention that I loved my wetsuit? I loved the wetsuit. The only thing was that it was really tight. Or at least felt really tight. I had to stop and float and just do a relaxed breast stroke type of movement to calm myself down. I almost started to hyperventilate a couple times. Calm down, Bethany. Calm down.

I am past the second buoy and I look up from the water and I see a surf board. You know, one of the safety measures? But there was no dude on it! All I could think of was "I hope he's saving someone because if HE is drowning, we're all in trouble!"

I continue to swim and for the most part I do ok. I do take in a lot of water and of course its very salty. I ended up feeding the fish some cookies I ate exactly 2 hours before the start.

But I finished.

After getting out of the water, we all had to run, or walk about a hundred yards to the transition area. It sucked. But I was still just pumped that the swim was over! I DID IT! YAYAYAY!

I get to the transition area and get ready for the bike. This is by far my best event. I notice that my stuff is all wet. I was thinking that someone must have been really rude to just dump water all over my things! I get my stuff on and go. I'm hauling. I am flying past people and I feel really good. I start feeling things pelt against my skin and it takes me a moment to realize that its water. The marine layer is so thick that it feels like its raining. I am trying to wipe the water off my sunglasses and finally just take them off. There is water DRIPPING off my helmet. Its then I realize that that is why my stuff was all wet. (Yes...I am QUICK!)

This made it a little more exciting. It was like biking in the rain, something else I have never done. The lane lines get really slippery and the metal teeth things that are in the middle of bridges that have to open and close for boats were like slip-n-slides.

I was finishing up my first loop when I saw....GOLDENS! I was going so fast :) that all I got out was "DOGGIES". I realized it was Julie and Ewan and their 2 wonderful doggies Gemma and Ruby. I had to loop around and scream JULIE! And wave! I knew I would see them in another 5.5 miles! DOGGIES!

I finish the bike without mishap and see that the Marathon Guru has joined Julie, Ewan and the pups. It was nice to see them.

I get off the bike and change shoes, grab my hat and start to run.

They call going from the bike to the run a "brick". Have any idea why? I will tell you. They call it a brick because your legs feel like bricks trying to run after being on the bike for 11 miles.

So I run, more like jog.  Three miles is not far but it is when you are tired and slow anyway. I make the loop and see the doggies and the Guru tells me I can start sprinting now. I was literally about 50 yards from the end. I sprinted like the WIND! (There was no wind).

WOOO HOOOO! I'm done! I"M DONE!!!!!

And it was... FUN.

Elaine, Eva, Joanne and Paul were at the finish line waiting for me. Elaine gives me a hug and tells me I am beautiful. I am soaked to the bone, from the sweat and the soup. I say "Really?" and she says yes. I look at her and take off my hat. Remember, my hair has been shoved into a swim cap, been soaked under a bike helmet and stuck under a very fashionable Rescue baseball cap and say "How bout now?"

Bless her heart, she tells me "Ok...maybe not now."

Love someone who tells it like it is!

I would like to thank some people.

Thanks to Julie, Ewan, Gemma and Ruby for giving me my golden fix when I needed it...half way through the bike and definitely before the run! DOGGIES! And I got my golden kisses for finishing.
Thanks to Marty Friedman (the Marathon Guru), Elaine, Eva, Joanne and Paul for being there to see me finish.
Thanks to Mother Nature for making the weather almost perfect. Although soupy, I would much rather it have been as it was...about 72 degrees, than 95.
Thanks to all of you who took my advice and stayed home.

Thanks to Sanya, web goddess for posting my blahg entries.

Thank you to all who sent me well wishes before and congrats after. It meant a lot to know you were thinking of me.

And finally, thank you to all who donated. The beautiful golden babies thank you. VERY MUCH.

For one last time...be well everyone.

PEACE OUT!

Congratulations Bethany...you did it!

Photos by Julie!

Panic. Learning. Panic. Learning. Flying. More Panic.

So to pick up where I left off with the last blog, I was not feeling the love from Mike and foot lady made me want to gag. When my swim pass was used up, I decided to just go to the community pool, which is conveniently located 3 blocks from my house. I figured doing laps from that point on (about 4 weeks ago) was my best plan to get endurance up.

When I started timing myself, I was doing a half mile in 27 minutes. That of course was having to stop, if only for a second, to turn around at the wall.

I got down to 25 minutes before I left for Michigan.

When I went to visit the Fam, I swam in the channel where my brother has a house. Since I wasn't sure what the distance was, I just swam for about a half hour. Definitely tiring.

But, it was good because I got the chance to experience the not being able to see the bottom thing. And the no lane line thing. I do backstroke a lot so I miss the lane lines. (I ran into boats twice. Thank goodness, they were parked!). I swim like a drunk. Lots of wasted energy. BAD!

This past Tuesday, while swimming, I pulled a muscle in my upper arm. It hurt. Panic.

I still swam on Thursday. My shoulder still hurt, but I took 2 minutes off my time. Learning.

I am admittedly scared sh**less about this swim. It is the thing that is the wildcard in this for me. I can bike 11 miles pretty easily. Running 3 miles is a small distance compared to the 26.2 I've done in the last 3 marathons. If I get out of the water in 30 minutes, I will consider that a win.

Especially since I got a cold in Michigan and despite all the witches brews and magic potions, I am still stuffy. I am also hockin' up loogies. Yum, huh?

So today I went to pick up my packet for the race. They had a very helpful seminar to go over the course and some seriously informative tips.

I learned a lot in those 40 minutes.

I learned that there is the cool stuff that is supposed to help you get out of the wetsuit. Its literally stuff you spray on and its supposed to be slippery. Body lube. I have visions of a being squirted out of the wetsuit like a banana squirting out of it's skin.

I learned that they suggest NOT doing the backstroke. The backstroke is what I have been using when I get tired, and it is by far my better stroke. Serious, SERIOUS PANIC!!!

I learned that there is something called the flying dismount off the bike.

I can guarantee I wont be doing that.

So my race number is 575.

My wave start is at 7:15am.

It is supposed to be really hot again tomorrow. If you are coming to see me finish, make sure you bring water, especially if you are bringing dogs.

Which brings me to this:

I know that some of you plan on coming to see me finish. As much as I appreciate you being there, I feel that traveling a great distance, to pay $10 to park, to bring the dogs in this heat, to only be there for 20 minutes is a bit crazy. If you plan on coming, I appreciate it. But I would like you to think if that is really the best use of your time.

This isn't coming out right. But I just want you all to know that I will not be upset if there is no one there to see me finish. It just seems like a lot of time and effort and money on gas and parking to spend to only be there for 20 minutes.

However if you do come, park at the Convention Center, which like I said is $10.

Sanya always asks me for pictures. Here is one of all the stuff I have to bring tomorrow.

Did I mention that I am panicking?

Be well everyone.

Peace out!

Channeling my inner Missy (And Will Farrell from Night at the Roxbury)

**Note, as you will read, this was started 3 weeks ago. I am a little behind! But instead of starting over, I will continue this one and will send the most recent one in a day or two. Just pretend it is still 3 weeks ago!

Good lord where does the time go? I apologize to my loyal fans (I think my followers have gone up to 8...not bad, my readerdom has grown exponentially. Even my Mom admitted to reading it! YAY ME.) for the time in between posts but I didn't want to interrupt the Olympics! (Who besides me thought the closing ceremony people were drinking some seriously jacked up kool-aid?)

Oh! So braided hairy guy actually came back. And he must have heard or felt the heave of the group gag as he entered the pool because he WAXED! He still has the ridiculous thing hanging off of his chin but he is no longer the braided hairy back guy!

Unfortunately, though, for us women, the scrape-the-dead-skin-off-my-gross-feet-with-a-file-thing-and-pumice-stone-lady has decided that THE PUBLIC SHOWER is the perfect place to do that. It's just disgusting.

So I only have 4 weeks to go and the swimming is going fine. I have left the beginner class and graduated to the advanced class. I got so ninja in the beginners group that Misael would actually ask me to show people what to do. I got so turbotious that the swimmers in the next lane would stop swimming, look around, startled by the wake and wonder how a speedboat got into the pool. Good thing Im so full of myself huh? My big head helps me float!

Seriously, I was so much more advanced in the beginner group that I moved to Mike's group. I don't like Mike nearly as much as Misael. Well..I don't like Mike at all. I truly was the worst of the advanced when I started and although my technique was good, I was still slow. Mike doesn't like slow...even if it says in the brochure that its for ANY swim level.

Plus, yucky foot lady is in Mike's class. She is not a bad swimmer but she lets everyone know that SHE thinks she is a great swimmer. The first advanced class I took I heard her tell another girl, who also was taking her first class, that at least she was better than...she saw me and didn't finish. I knew what she was gonna say but I play it cool and I just let it roll off my back...like the water I swim through.

She obviously has serious confidence issues if she has to cut other people down. (Yes I AM an armchair psychologist!)

But get this...the next class, foot lady is there and we are swimming and I am improving. And I see WHY she is a better swimmer! The cheater uses swim fins! I would be fast too, beeha if I cheated and used fins!

I will admit that I am not cool enough not to make just slightly snide comment to her about how ANYONE would be faster using fins. That holier-than-thou smile drained off her face.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

So I swim. And I get better every swim. And I think about Missy Franklin. And I think that if I could channel just an OUNCE of her speed, I would be good.

And each night as I leave the pool, my inner Will Farrell shakes my head in a sideways, headbangers ball kinda way to get all the water out of my ears.

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more"

Be well everyone.

Peace out

Riddle Me This

I hate goggles. They are going to be the death of me. Ok. That might be overstating a tad but they do bother the living bejeezus out of me. Even my super supposedly anti fog goggles have to be pulled really tight to keep the air and water out, and well, they squeeze my brain.

You know what else I hate? Smelling like chlorine. My super expensive soap is not noxious enough to zap it so I'm walking around smelling like Au de Pool. Yes, that's better than Au de Poo, which is what one smells like if they don't watch where they're walking. So really, I must be super careful, cuz if I happen into a pile, I will smell like Au de Poopool, which is a very distant, black sheep cousin of Mott the Hoople, who were a one hit wonder with All the Young Dudes.

Anywho...speaking of gross things, last time there was this guy who was so hairy...

HOW HAIRY WAS HE?

He was so hairy that he had his BACK HAIR BRAIDED to match his beard. NO, I am not joking. I tried not thinking about His Hairiness...swimming....not only in the same pool but in the same lane as me. I tried not thinking about HOW someone could actually BRAID hair that short. And I mean short by braiding standards. It was lllloooonnnggg in back hairinessness!

I'm still grossed out thinking about it. I know one can't help these things but man...it was icky. Yo!!! Hairy Man! Think Miyagi...Daniel San...Wax On Wax off. Wax On Wax off.

So the swimming is going well. I have pancaked. One of the things I really like about the way Misael teaches is that he breaks everything down so that each part of the kick, stroke, breath is done right. Bad thing is that it is a whole lot to remember. And he talks to us like we're kids but not in a bad way. Moving our hips is "sway sway sway". Our heads are coconuts. If you don't extend your arms far enough on the stroke we are t-rex's. Anything out of our personal range of motion is the "no no zone". All said in sing song voices that are hilarious and more to the point, memorable.

We learned backstroke first because backstroke has the same movements, for the most part, as freestyle. So now that I have pancaked, I have a lot to think about because not only do I have to worry about sway, sway, swaying and no no's and t-rex's, I have to think about BREATHING! Yeah. Breathing is good!

Sometimes I think it might be too much for me. You know, The Marathon Guru always warned me about running and chewing gum. Throw a nose blow in the mix and there was a strong chance of chaos. Now I have to think about all this stuff AND breathe AND not sink. Phhheww.

So what's the riddle?

What runs faster than I do, even in water?

Be well everyone!

Peace out.

Goldilocks and the 4 goggles goggling, 3 suits a swimming, 2 caps a capping and a surging pancake in a pear tree

So I haven't drowned or sunk...Woot.

I have, however, spent way too much moolah on swim crap. Next year I am going to find a sport to do that doesn't cost me anything...a barefoot, naked, dog carrying contest maybe. Yeah. Yeah. The dog will cover the front and I will have a strategically placed race number covering my butt. Whaddya think?

Anywho...I had bought a pair of goggles when I was going to my neighborhood Y thinking I would swim ...about 4 years ago, (as you might guess, I never even opened them until 3 weeks ago.)

When I swam that first day, they kept getting foggy and I couldn't see. Not gonna work. So I went out and got another pair. These pair are AWESOME. They fit great. They look cool (not cool at all, really). And they are anti fog. The problem? They're dark. Think Corey Hart, sunglasses at night dark. Great in the day, but since I swim at night...not so good.

Sooo...I went and bought another pair. Same Speedo brand, what I thought were the same goggles, only clear. I jump in the pool on Thursday, thinking, FINALLY and...nope. They are not the same pair only clear. These do not have a flexible bridge of the nose thing that extends out. Its flat. And it squishes my nose. And it hurts.

So bring on goggle pair number four. FOUR!

So since I had to get another pair of goggles, I looked at the swim suits while I was at the sporting goods store. I have been wearing a nice suit, one that would be more for lounging by the pool instead of swimming in it. I took 4 into the dressing room. I really liked 2 of them and couldn't decide. So I got them both. The one makes me look thin AND was the cheapest of the 4 so I patted myself on the back for that one. Since I picked the cheap one, I could reward myself with the other one, right?! And the other makes me look fast. No really. It has like pink, white and purple sorta lightning bolt thingys on it. Lightning is fast, right? So my lightning suit is gonna surge me through the water. SURGE ME I say. (That's what I am telling myself anyway. To justify buying both. SURGE!)

Well, my swim cap is BLUE. My fast suit is Black and PINK. I couldn't wear a BLUE cap with my lightning pink super fast suit, could I? The clashing of colors might slow me down. We wouldn't want that, right? Defeat the whole SURGE theory. So enter cap number 2.

And to top it all off, I had to buy special get rid of the chlorine smell soap and not-turn-your-hair-green shampoo and conditioner. More expensive then soap should be.

BUT...my hair isn't green yet, so there's that. (And we don't even want to discuss how green hair would factor into the SURGE theory. I shudder thinking about it.)

You want to hear how the swimming's going?

I have been working on kicking, breathing and backstroke. Misael says that next time, if I backstroke with grace, I can pancake (his way of saying flip over) and start working on freestyle.

Ahhh...what?!

Flipping over depends on grace?... And me having it?...Wellllhellll. I might pancake all right. I will just be that first one that you always mess up then give to the dog.

Grace? Crud.

And dang it. Now I want pancakes.

Be well everyone.

Peace out!

SWIMMING 101

So to begin my swim training, I thought I would just start going to the pool and start swimming. My wonderfully smart boyfriend however, told me that I should get a coach right away so that I don't spend any time swimming with a funky stroke.

I took his advice and looked for a coach.

There are some seriously expensive coaches out there. And they don't take Reese's as payment. So I was really excited when I found that the pool at the local community college has instructors there every week. And they don't charge an arm and a leg (They're smart see? Charge an arm and a leg and it makes it harder to swim.)

So I went for the first time last week.

I know how to swim.

I have spent almost my entire life around water. I was lucky enough as a kid to have a family vacation home on a lake. We would spend almost every hour of every summer day in the water. We would swim up and down the channel, messing around, having fun.

I know how to swim.

I haven't, as far as I can remember, though, worn a swim cap. Or goggles. I don't think that was too obvious though. I only had the goggles boing off my head and hang from my ear once...ok twice but no one saw the first one!

I know how to swim.

So I strut out of the locker rooms, thinking that this was going to be easy. Swim off the cobwebs, have the coach tweak my stroke a bit and I'd be off to the races.

You know, because I know how to swim.

The coach, Misael, tells us to warm up with 200. For those of you who don't know, that's 8 laps. Awesome! I jump in and 2 things happen. (NO...I did not sink!)

1. Shock, by how MUCH colder the water was than expected, and
2. Pain, because my toe starts to sting and throb.

You see, the toe nail that turned black and yucky while I was training for the marathons is THIS close to coming off. It was hanging on by just a big enough thread that it hurt every time something rubbed my toe the wrong way. I was afraid to just rip it off because, well, it hurt! It has been hanging around now for about 2 months. When I jumped in the pool, the chlorine oozed under the nail and hurt like a you know what.

So visibly cold and silently in pain, I pull my goggles over my eyes and start swimming. And I swim...and I swim. And I am winded half way through. Of course, you say. Swimming 4 laps would make most people tired. No. I'M TALKIN' THE FIRST LAP! You want me to do HOW MANY? For a warm up?

Crud. This is gonna be harder than I thought.

But I am going to learn from the beginning and get it right.

They broke us into 2 groups. So that they could work with us beginners away from the people who knew what they were doing.

For almost the entire class, Misael had us do kicking drills. Nice. Slow. Fast. Big leg. From the knee. It was very helpful. I was the fastest.

I was the best of the worst! YEEE HAAAWWWW!

And my toe really stung.

When the class was over I got out of the pool, freezing, and ran for my towel. My toe was really stinging!! I looked down at my toe nail and realized that my superior kicking skills ripped that bad boy right off! No wonder it was hurting so bad. It was now somewhere...in the pool.

EEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

Be well everyone!

Peace out

Return of the Blah-g

Sandy has guilted…suckered…asked me to write the blahg again.

(Anyone who has had Sandy get them to do something knows what I'm talkin' 'bout! She looks at you with those eyes..you know, kinda like the ones we all get from our dogs when they want another bisquit, plleeeeeaassssssse can I have a treat?...with that almost....weepy you-know-you-want-to-do-this tone in her voice…right?! I think she hypnotizes people! And the fact that she did it over the phone just proves how good she is at her craft! Either that or I'm just a sucker).

So here we go again.

In case you haven't heard, I will not be running a marathon this year.

I think that ticked off the Marathon Guru (Marty) a bit.

Either that, or he thinks that all that running has muddled my brain.

Either that or he's mad that I have fallen a tad behind on his payment (hershey's kisses and Reese's..I still owe him for all of his worldly running knowledge)(But honestly, I don't think there would ever be enough chocolate to pay him back for all his gems of wisdom!).

Let me explain.

When I told him I was going to do a triathlon instead of a marathon, he asked me if I knew how to swim.

"G", I said. "Do you really think I would sign up for a triathlon without knowing how to swim?"

"I was just asking." He wrote.

I told him that I was going to strap on my fins and water wings and the swimming would go, well...swimmingly.

I believe that at that point, and I could be mistaken, he called me a bimbo.

See? I told you he was mad.

With "BImbo" echoing in my ear, I went back to the Long Beach Triathlon site and read the "Rules and Regulations" a bit more carefully. No fins. No kick boards. No twin turbo jet pax attached to your life jacket.

WHAT?!?

Aw bugger.

How fast you think I could dog paddle a half mile?

The bimbo had better start swimming.

Be well everyone.

Peace out.

READY?

So the marathon is in less than 24 hours.

I am as ready as I'm gonna get!

I have siphoned as much knowledge as I could from the Marathon Guru. (Don't worry, I left him a few brain cells to rub together!)

I have my geek-cessories packed and ready to go.

I have my gaggle of kleenex ready to catch the real runner in my family (my nose!)

I will shave my legs to make me more aerodynamic!

I will eat carbs tonight to give me energy.

I fought off the cold that threatened last weekend thanks to vitamins and witch potions.

My bib # is 889

We are almost to our fundraising goal! Even if we don't make the $26,200 (everyone always forgets that POINT 2) we raised a significant amount of moolah for the wonderful goldens! WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!

Thanks Everyone, for everything. I'm so proud of all of you and honored to be a part of this organization!

Peace Out!

LETTER TO MOTHER NATURE

YO MAMA!

I know that you are really busy having your way with us. You know...messin' with the thermostat. I mean come ON Mama, 118 degrees!!! And then going from record breaking highs one week to dumping rain on us the next?! Are you trying to get us all sick? Did the Tooth Fairy tick you off again? The Easter Bunny steal all of your eggs and hard boil the bejeezus out of 'em? Take is easy, Sweetie. Have a massage. Drink a martini. All will be fine.

So there are only 2 more weeks until the marathon and I have a few requests. I know that Pops (Santa) usually takes care of these things but I don't think he reads his letters until December and that you know, would be too late.

So, if you could please get all of your weather shenanigans out of your system BEFORE race day that would be swell. I request a nice 70 degree, clear beautiful day for the 17th.

I don't know how tight you are with the traffic gods but if you could ask them to make it easy for anyone coming to Long Beach as part of the most bestest Golden Retriever Rescue EVER, that would be really nice. Tell them we'll bake them cookies or at least bestow numerous wet golden kisses on them if they do!

Is there some way you could attach, like, invisible turbo chargers to me heels? I mean nothing that requires rocket fuel. I don't think anyone would believe it if I finished in 5 minutes. I'm talking under 5 hours...even if only by a minute. That would be great.

So I know that this is asking a lot. But if you could grant these requests I promise to eat my vegetables...I'll even clean my room!

PPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSE MAMA?

Thanks MAMA NATURE!! You're the BEST!

Be well!

SELECTIVE RETENTION

Where does the time go?!?

There is less than 5 weeks to go until race day! YIKE-EEEEE!

Training has been going about as well as can be expected. My long distance runs are up to 20 miles. My feet hurt. My back hurts. My brain hurts....but all in all I'm doing pretty well!

I have never given birth but I liken my total lunacy of doing this again to Mothers who have more than one child. I'm told that if women remembered how painful giving birth was, no one would have more than one kid! Selective Retention.

All I remember about last year is what a wonderful feeling it was to cross the finish line. And to have people that I admire and respect waiting for me there. I forgot about the pain each long run generated as I prepared for the big day. I forgot about my inability to gracefully climb stairs after a long run or in fact my difficulty in just plain walkin' without looking like I'm 142 years old desperately looking for a railing to hold on to to keep me upright. Or how funny I must look holding on to the vanity for dear life as I VERRRY SLOWWWWLY lift one violently trembling leg into the pants I have positioned perfectly on the floor so that I don't have to lift my leg more than a few inches. Then switching arms to balance as I shakily lift the other leg into the other leg hole. And when I have successfully gotten my legs into their correct pants-puttin'-on-position, I wish with all my being that I had The Force with me to lift those pants to their proper place on my behind so that I wouldn't have to bend over to do it myself! Selective Retention.

And speaking of pain and Mothers.......

I poke fun that no one reads this blog. 2.2 readers I've joked. Well, my very own Mother admitted to me that she doesn't read it. MY VERY OWN MOTHER!!! I feel like a red-headed step child. She doesn't read my blog!?!?! So here is a picture of her in a bathing suit....that'll teach her!!! Doesn't read my blog.......

Be well everyone!

TECHNOLOGY

It's crazy to think how far we humans have come. Remember cassette tapes? Beta and VHS players? Floppy disks? The cool drive-up bank tubes that you placed into a slot that then got suctioned to the teller? Toilets that you had to flush yourself?

I remember how cool it was to get call waiting on our home phone. Now, most people don't even have home phones because cell phones have taken over.

And gone are the days of a cell phone that just makes calls. Now you can listen to music, take pictures and video, surf the web and cook dinner.

Amazing if you think about it. And new stuff keeps zooming up every day! You buy the newest, coolest ninjaist Cyborg Zomboid (or whatever) phone and you get home, finally figure out how to get the stupid thing to work and BOOM! They announce that version 2.0001 is coming out next week and it is sooooo much better than the old geezer phone you bought today and that you should rush right out next week and buy the new better version for $1000 bucks. I mean really....

But if you ARE one of those who is gaga for gizmos, you probably have A LOT of phones laying around collecting dust. Know what you should do with them? Give them to us!!! The GRCGLARescue will receive anywhere from $5-$100 for your used cell phones! The more recent the model, the more we get, so come on Seeker-of-the-new, give us your phones!!!!

And for those of you who are the exact opposite and have had the same cell phone since LiLo had a career, maybe its time to upgrade and then give us your old one.

But don't keep this to yourself!!! Ask friends, family, neighbors. Ask co-workers. Have a Comm department at your work? Ask them for any used phones!! One of our volunteers even went to a wireless store and asked for their trade-ins and got a bunch!! This is easy money! And the best part? All proceeds are going to Team Bethany and will help us reach our $1000 a mile goal. And the even bester part? Those funds WILL BE MATCHED BY OUR WONDERFUL A.D.!!!!!

So I'm gonna go round me up some phones. The list of locations where you can drop your phones off is listed on our site or you can go here: http://www.grcglarescue.org/RP_WebDoc.asp?ttid=295

When I get home tonight, I'm gonna watch a VHS movie on an analog TV with no remote, while listening to my Walkman and talking to my Mom on my rotary dial phone (yes...I'm a multi-tasker!)

What movie you ask? I'm thinking E.T. That movie is one that could never be remade because nowadays, E.T. could phone home quite easily. But he would definitely get hit with some serious roaming charges!!!!

Be well everyone.

Peace Out

SERIOUS TIME WITH BETHANY (not to be confused with nappy poo time with Bethany...that's later)

HOPE...Hope. Say the word out loud. What do you think?

It's not really a pretty word as just a word, if you think about it.

HOPE

It rhymes with dope and scope and mope and grope. All not really great words (although grope can be good if it's from someone yummy and dope is turning it's image around and can be used to describe things that are good...like "Man, that song is dope!" (Unless it's rap then its just dopey...but I digress).

HOPE

What makes hope beautiful is its meaning. Hope is the thing that we all have and I think its one of the things that makes us wake up everyday and do the things we do. We hope for health. We hope for love. We hope for success. We hope that the Bears win the Super Bowl (some things we hope for are easier to come by than others)!

HOPE

I have adopted 2 wonderful dogs through this amazing Rescue. As the 2.2 of you who read this blog know, my first doggy was Summer. One of her many nicknames was Snarky Barker because she was a bit cranky towards other dogs. Because of her age and her snarkiness, she wasn't an easy placement. She was in a boarding facility on behalf of Rescue for over a month until the dog (god spelled backwards) genie granted my wish to adopt my sweet Baby Sums.

HOPE

I have said in the past that I am a bit obsessive. And although I joke about it...it is entirely true. I look at our available dogs page almost every day. So I'm usually aware of the dogs that are on our site for long periods of time and worry much more about them when they need a foster home. I knew my dog Sweetness, who was Boston on our site, was available for a long time. He needed a foster home almost the entire time.

HOPE

Sweetness is deathly afraid of other dogs. And I'm not talking slightly afraid. I am talking extreme, blinding, crazy terror. It makes me sad when I think about him living in a place where every moment of every day, he spent in fear for his life. Are any of you deathly afraid of something? I mean paralyzingly fearful? Sweetness lived surrounded by the thing that scares him more than anything on this planet for OVER TWO MONTHS!

Although I wasn't ready to adopt another dog so soon after Summer, Sandy told me that Sweetness (Boston) was growing older by the day...almost unrecognizable from the day he was brought in to Rescue. In tears and sobbing, I told Sandy that I would pick him up that Saturday as a foster only. Of course, I failed miserably!

HOPE FOR A BETTER LIFE™

Because of my two babies, the Hope for a Better Life™ program means a lot to me. Because of their need to be an only dog, Summer and Sweetness spent over 90 days total in boarding. 90 DAYS! At $18 a day, boarding Sweetness and Baby Sums until they were adopted cost Rescue over $1620!!!!! And they still came to me Snarky and Fraidy!!! I can only imagine how Sweetness in particular could have benefited from the Wags N Wiggles 4-week residential training program. And how better spent that boarding money could have been to help him get better. I know that things happen for a reason and I love him so much and can't imagine life without him, but I would rather have not had him in my life if he could have gotten out of Boston Hell sooner.

HOPE FOR A BETTER LIFE™

The GRCGLA Rescue now has a program that can help other dogs that come in to our organization with fear and/or aggression issues. Goldens that would have otherwise been euthanized because they were unadoptable due to their behavior challenges now have HOPE! Because of the GRCGLA Rescue's Hope for a Better Life™ Program these dogs will get a second chance to be loved and cherished. They will (hopefully) learn through this amazing program that whatever was done to them to make them afraid is in the past, and nothing but love and obsessive devotion is in store for them in the future.

HOPE FOR A BETTER LIFE™

Of course, amazing programs need funding. I am just flabbergasted that an Anonymous Donor has offered to MATCH EVERY DOLLAR DONATED TO TEAM BETHANY to go to the Hope for a Better Life™ Program. EVERY DOLLAR! So that means if you donate $10, its actually............$20! (Sorry, had to take my shoes off for that one!) $100 is $200! $500 is $1000! 1 BILLION is...well I don't think the A.D. would match a billion but I got a little carried away!

I'm wondering why this A.D. wants to be anonymous. I would love to meet them and give them a big old hug and smooch! Sweetness says that maybe they are germaphobic and wouldn't want a kiss from me. I tell him that WHO WOULDN'T want a smooch from ME!?!?!

Then Sweetness says that maybe its a corporation, a huge conglomerate and I would have to give out A LOT of smooches and that would take up time that I should be running and I tell him....good point.

So, A.D. whomever you are, thank you for this amazing gift. YOU ARE HOPE to so many Goldens. I HOPE you know how much your very, incredibly generous matching gift donations are appreciated by us all!

Now...as promised....it's NAPPY POO TIME!

BE WELL EVERYONE!!!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

I hope all of you Daddies out there had a wonderful day with your peeps and pups!

So my training begins tomorrow.  Don't get me wrong, I have been running for months now.  But actual full-on, no excuses, get-off-the-velcro-couch training starts tomorrow.  I'm tired just thinking about it!!!

The good part of training is I DO get to eat pretty much anything I want.  When you run progressively increasing miles 5 days a week, you burn A LOT of calories. 

Last year I swore off candy, cocktails and ice cream.  This year, I'm only gonna do candy and ice cream.  I decided giving up cocktails was a tad too extreme!  You don't want me going completely coo coo, do you?  I blame the lack of consumption of alcohol to my saying that I would do this again so shortly after I finished the first one!  Coo Coo for cocoa puffs, I tell ya!

So I'm gonna go enjoy my last day of freedom.  Maybe go to Cold Stone, get a scoop of ice cream, with candy on top.  Go freeze my brain...maybe when it thaws I will have come to my senses.

Be well and Peace Out!

ARE YOU INSPIRED?

 As I started my run around the country club today, a group of cyclists passed me going the opposite direction.  This in and of itself is not an unusual site.  There are a lot of bike clubs in this area that use San Vicente and the West side as their playground.

But as I continue I see more and more cyclists.  Like Hundreds.  I go about halfway around the country club when I see a sign.  The Aids/LifeCycle San Francisco to Los Angeles Bike-a-thon.  It is a 7 day, 575 mile bike ride to raise money to help (hopefully) end Aids.

There were cyclists who were wearing mohawks on their helmets in every shade.  Rainbow 'hawks and neon 'hawks.  There were some that had stuffed animals or feathers or bright red afros attached to their helmets.  Others had squeaky toys that they squeezed throughout the ride.  Some had what I'm guessing were heavy duty pipe cleaners sticking out...kinda making 'em look like lighting bolts coming from their heads, and my favorite...a PLANT!

Some were dressed in crazy outfits.  I saw a lion and a tiger and a bear (oh my).  I saw a man with so much cra....stuff on him that he looked like a pinata.  I saw a man in a riding outfit made to look like a tuxedo.  It was fun to watch as they passed me by.

When I was running the marathon last year, it surprised me how much some stranger saying "great job" helped keep me going.  So I thought it only fair to pay it forward.  I would only see them on part of my route, but every time I was on San Vicente, I would clap and shout "good job" and "way to go" while giving a thumbs up.

Since I was running and chewing gum, I was taking a great risk trying to shout and clap and thumb at the same time!  I only stumbled once...providing comic relief to those tired riders.

Not only was it amazing to see literally hundreds and hundreds of cyclists riding for a great cause, but it was amazing that I got a couple of cat calls, whistles and a, "Daaaamn, baby!!"  even though I wasn't at my most attractive.  My boyfriend doesn't have to worry though, they were all from women!

It was an inspiring run for me.  It made me think how great it would be to some day have hundreds of people running to help our goldens.  I just checked their website and they raised over 11 million bucks!  Can you imagine?

So I'm hoping that you all are inspired to get out there and train for any of the Long Beach events, or inspired to get signed up and become our number one fundraiser!  The marathon is 18 weeks from tomorrow (YIKES!).  We can do this!  And although we might not get close to 11 million $28,000 is a completely obtainable goal!  (the leading fundraiser for AIDS/LifeCycle has raised over $52,000!  If any of you raise that much, you can have as big a portrait as you want!!!!)

Get Inspired, Be well and Peace out!

CHALLENGES

So last year, I put forth a challenge to all of you to eat lots of ice cream. ICE CREAM! The only condition was for every scoop, you put a buck into a jar and give it to Rescue.

To put it nicely, you guys TOTALLY sucked!

The only reason we got any Scoops donations was Sandy walked around Dogtoberfest and GUILTED those of you who were there and had cash left to give it over!

So this year, I am putting forth another challenge and this time, since you all are challenge CHALLENGED, it's an easy one. (Although people, I thought eating ice cream was pretty darned easy...and yummy!)

I am challenging all of you to be the top fundraiser for the GRCGLA Rescue through active.com!!!!!!!!!

If you go to http://www.active.com/donate/GRCGLARescue2010, you will be taken to our fundraising page. At the top is says "become a fundraiser".

You can sign up to fund raise EVEN IF YOU DON'T PARTICIPATE IN ANY EVENT!

You can post a picture of your favorite golden baby and say why you love the breed and why you are raising money to help our wonderful baby goldens! (If you have any questions, let me know)

Then you can send it to every single person you know and ask them to help YOU win!

And what will you win?
The winner will get 2, yes TWO 4"x4" pet portraits done in oil, done by yours truly.**

With her permission, here are portraits commissioned by Rescue's own Jo B:

If you are a super duper spectacular fundraiser...and I mean WICKED, NINJA GOOD (I'm talkin' at least $2500) we can discuss one bigger one.

So folks, are you up for the challenge?

Be well and get busy!!

**I paint from your original photos. Originals will need to be approved by me. Close up photos work the best.

The Marathon Guru

As most of you know, Marty Friedman, aka, The Marathon Guru, aka, MG, aka, G, aka, The Slave Driver, played a very important role in helping me get trained for last year's marathon.  I should probably add Attila and Crazy Man to the list because not only has he once again offered to crack the whip on me but he has told me he will help any of YOU that are interested in milking him dry of expertise!

I will warn you in advance that he is very serious about running and he has no problem telling you that you are a total and complete slacker...if you are!

But all kidding aside, G has a plethora (ooh ooh...one of my favorite words!) of information that is helpful to any runner, whether a newbie or someone who can make it around the block.  If nothing else, he has proven to be a great motivator (Get movin' Lead Legs!)

So if you have any questions for Marty, you can email him at the following address: mjfriedman2@verizon.net

I know that he takes Hershey's Kisses and Reese's Peanut Butter cups as payment.

Be Well Everyone!

Happy Mother's Day

I hope that all of you people mommies and doggie mommies had a wonderful Mother's Day!

I have had a few people ask me how the half marathon went...proving that no one is reading this!

And that's ok.... since no one reads this thing...I thought I would give poetry a try:

The sky is blue
the grass is green
I'm really glad I have my spleen

My knees don't knock
my eyes don't cross
Sweetness thinks he's the boss

My eyes are green
my hair is short
Football is my favorite sport

I hate my neighbor
his name is Michael
I wish I could ram him with my cycle

I love Goldens
I love cheese
Give me lots of both please

Some say I'm weird
Some say I'm quirky
Too much caffeine makes me jerky

I could go on...But I won't.

I will save the rest for the next time I feel like no one is reading this thing.

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

TOENAILS and BLISTERS and CRAMPS OH MY!!!!!

So I will admit that I became somewhat of a slacker after the marathon. OK. A TOTAL SLACKER after the marathon. I would run, if I was lucky, MAYBE once a week. (I DID go to the gym.......twice)

At first, it was because I was sick and had a gnarly pulled muscle in my groin.

Then..it got really COLD! I really don't like running in the cold (I know...totally lame excuse!)

But I am happy to say that I am once again back to training and I gotta tell ya, my body is REVOLTING! (I know...I'm settin' myself up on that one!)

The toenail that got all icky was finally growing back nicely. It has already started to get all funky again...and this time it's bringing my big toe along with it!

No matter how much I spend on good shoes and socks that wick. No matter how much Vaseline I slather on, I get blisters. Big, yucky painful blisters. I believe that blisters are my body's way of getting back at me for all that it knows I'm gonna put it through for the next 5 and a half months.

On top of sore toes, fire breathing blisters and knees and ankles that are asking me "Are you SURE you want to do this again? We did this once already...we didn't much like it the first time!", I keep getting cramps when I'm running too! Nothing serious...just my body trying to "talk" me out of doing this again...personally, I think this is another way my body is forging a coup against training.

So I'd say I have been running seriously for about 3 weeks. I had planned on doing a half marathon this coming weekend. I knew that I hadn't been training long enough to do it so I told The Guru that I was gonna run a lot this week to get ready. He said NO! NO! NO! Go in under-trained. Well, I went against the Guru's advice (Blasphemy, I KNOW!) and ran a 9 mile long run on Saturday. Well it might has well have been 90 miles! I was so tired! My legs were like mush.

So I am rethinking the half marathon this weekend. I don't want to do anything that will set me back on the big picture! But this has been a much needed wake up call that it's time to get serious!

I hope that you all have at least started your training. Whether it be for running, walking or biking. If you haven't, IT'S NOT TOO LATE! Start now and we can get revolting bodies together!

And if your body says: "No way, Jose" or "Au contraire, mon frère" or "You are out of your FRICKIN' MIND, Homey", Just remember, we are doing it for the DOGS!!

Be well everyone and here we go again!!!!

Click here for a downloadable flyer to print and distribute.