Goldilocks and the 4 goggles goggling, 3 suits a swimming, 2 caps a capping and a surging pancake in a pear tree

So I haven't drowned or sunk...Woot.

I have, however, spent way too much moolah on swim crap. Next year I am going to find a sport to do that doesn't cost me anything...a barefoot, naked, dog carrying contest maybe. Yeah. Yeah. The dog will cover the front and I will have a strategically placed race number covering my butt. Whaddya think?

Anywho...I had bought a pair of goggles when I was going to my neighborhood Y thinking I would swim ...about 4 years ago, (as you might guess, I never even opened them until 3 weeks ago.)

When I swam that first day, they kept getting foggy and I couldn't see. Not gonna work. So I went out and got another pair. These pair are AWESOME. They fit great. They look cool (not cool at all, really). And they are anti fog. The problem? They're dark. Think Corey Hart, sunglasses at night dark. Great in the day, but since I swim at night...not so good.

Sooo...I went and bought another pair. Same Speedo brand, what I thought were the same goggles, only clear. I jump in the pool on Thursday, thinking, FINALLY and...nope. They are not the same pair only clear. These do not have a flexible bridge of the nose thing that extends out. Its flat. And it squishes my nose. And it hurts.

So bring on goggle pair number four. FOUR!

So since I had to get another pair of goggles, I looked at the swim suits while I was at the sporting goods store. I have been wearing a nice suit, one that would be more for lounging by the pool instead of swimming in it. I took 4 into the dressing room. I really liked 2 of them and couldn't decide. So I got them both. The one makes me look thin AND was the cheapest of the 4 so I patted myself on the back for that one. Since I picked the cheap one, I could reward myself with the other one, right?! And the other makes me look fast. No really. It has like pink, white and purple sorta lightning bolt thingys on it. Lightning is fast, right? So my lightning suit is gonna surge me through the water. SURGE ME I say. (That's what I am telling myself anyway. To justify buying both. SURGE!)

Well, my swim cap is BLUE. My fast suit is Black and PINK. I couldn't wear a BLUE cap with my lightning pink super fast suit, could I? The clashing of colors might slow me down. We wouldn't want that, right? Defeat the whole SURGE theory. So enter cap number 2.

And to top it all off, I had to buy special get rid of the chlorine smell soap and not-turn-your-hair-green shampoo and conditioner. More expensive then soap should be.

BUT...my hair isn't green yet, so there's that. (And we don't even want to discuss how green hair would factor into the SURGE theory. I shudder thinking about it.)

You want to hear how the swimming's going?

I have been working on kicking, breathing and backstroke. Misael says that next time, if I backstroke with grace, I can pancake (his way of saying flip over) and start working on freestyle.

Ahhh...what?!

Flipping over depends on grace?... And me having it?...Wellllhellll. I might pancake all right. I will just be that first one that you always mess up then give to the dog.

Grace? Crud.

And dang it. Now I want pancakes.

Be well everyone.

Peace out!